No one starts off in marriage desiring to be miserable. Every couple desires that their marriage be happy, at least if you have any sense. You don't marry that man or woman of your dreams with a thought of unhappiness, but then…after the ceremony and maybe the honeymoon, negative things begin to happen and …the seeds of unhappiness begin to sprout. How will you deal with the reality that neither of you are as perfect as you thought? What can you do to keep the spark in your marriage? Here are some practical ideas that I believe will help keep the flame going.
- Be sure that you are both Saved!
2 Corinthains 6:14
Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? There is no way for a saved individual to get along in marriage with a person who is lost. One or the other must change, and there is no way for a truly saved individual to live a Godly and God pleasing life if they become a person of the world.
- Treat your spouse the way that you would like to be treated.
1 Peter 4:8-9 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins. 9Use hospitality one to another without grudging.
The word "hospitality" implies the ideas of kindness, friendliness, or thoughtfulness. One man said it this way, "mind your manners."
1 Peter 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous:
This idea extends, but is not limited to, the thought of personal kindness and thoughtfulness one to another. Keep yourself clean, brush your teeth, use good hygiene, shave regularly, use deodorant, clean under your fingernails, and men, don't be rough towards your wife. Think of the other person first.
- Be fiscally responsible. Finances can be a major problem.
Learn to handle/manage your money in accordance with God's directions in His word.
2 Corinthians 8 and 9 and in particularly 2 Corinthians 9:6-7 - But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully. 7Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.
Establish priorities in this order, Tithes, offerings, giving, personal savings, and then your financial responsibilities (bills).
- Be sure to put your spouse first.
Ephesians 5:21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Dr. Don Greenway said it this way, "Establish by-laws about your in-laws." The in-laws must never take priority in your marriage. Never listen to negative or destructive comments from anyone about your spouse. Protect your spouse from gossip and malicious comments. Genesis 2:24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. The word cleave implies sticking to one another like glue.
- Never stop courting your spouse.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Work at growing closer - be intimate - be open - be honest - be real - be concerned - be committed to your marriage.
Prepared by Dr. Robert E. Bliss